I use to find myself judging others for the way they did things or lived their life especially when their approach was different than the way I did things. Even more so when my approach produced successful outcomes and theirs did not.

Then I learned two things when becoming aware of this judgment.

The first being that there is more than one river that leads to the ocean (actually they all do) meaning that there are several ways to get to the same destination or result.

Their journey is not my journey and forcing my uninvited opinion would only cause more resistance within me and may even distract them from learning valuable lessons delivered by their current approach.

When we take the time to learn from others and how they approach situations then we learn more ourselves and may even discover a more efficient and fulfilling way to arrive at the same location.

We may find out that our location is not their location and that their location may be the location we intend to end up at in the first place.

Other people’s example can also teach us how not to do things or the directions that we don’t want to go by simply observing others without judgment and with a growth-minded perspective.

The second realization that I have become aware of is that all of us are fighting a battle of some kind.

Why should we add to their suffering while we create more suffering within ourselves?

When I see someone struggling through life instead of judging them for being less intelligent or capable I move into compassion for that person’s experience.

If we see their struggle as damaging then only imagine how difficult it would be actually living from that perspective. This approach allows us to be more objective.

At that moment we can decide to judge that person which only restricts us from being our true selves or we can amp up our delivery of compassion and our contribution to being an encouraging influence.

We can also engage with our own example and perhaps expand their perspective encouraging them to can pick a different path that leads to their desired destination without experiencing the struggle they currently understand to be a reality.

Judging others in general or for judging us is damaging, and does not lead us to a solution and to the freedom that we truly crave.

By Sarah Jeans | Gravity Performance Coach

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