Hey, I need your advice but I don’t have the time
Last Thursday I ran into an old friend while shopping. He just turned 31 and it has been several years since the last time I talked to him. He told me about all this stuff he was going to do and what he was going to accomplish. He asked for some advice and I am 100% always happy to help out any way I can. I want us all to succeed together. I loved all of his ideas. (Some were better than others but that’s how ideas work.)
First I asked him a few questions on what he was doing RIGHT NOW to get him further towards his goals. I asked how does he spend his time. What are his habits? When did he start and how far has he come. (These are tough questions when you really take ownership of it.)
He replied, “Well work, and other stuff”.
—— Ok what about the weekends? What are you doing with your free time? What’s “other stuff”? (I’m digging for specifics. If you can’t be specific with your goals, then they aren’t really goals.)
“I am picking random shifts at this restaurant and then hanging out at night. You should come out man! I don’t ever see you out since you got back to J-Ville bro!”.
—— Ok, are you picking up the shifts because they help fund your ambitions or you are taking advantage of the opportunity for your own reasons?
“It’s good money for the weekend when I want to blow off steam from work each week”
—— I gotcha man. I can understand that spot. I used to be there before.
“So what did you do man? How did you get out of Jax? What was Cali like? You gotta tell me, bro. I want the secrets.”
——There are no secrets man. I got one more question for you. What are you reading these days?
“Man I haven’t read a book since college lol”
—— So then what are you doing to get better at what it is you’re trying to accomplish?
“Talking to people like you bro! Lol”
—— Ok let me show you something really quick. I want to show you the first screen on my phone with the apps I use. Did you know that it’s a statistical norm for people to use the same 6 apps 90% of their day? So here are my apps. I keep track of my sleep, my minutes, my health, my snoring, my quality of sleep, where I spend my time and more.
“Man, that’s crazy! You’re crazy OCD!”
—— Actually man, I’m dedicated. We just spent the last 20 mins talking. How much time do you think I charge my clients for my advice for 20 mins?
“What do you charge an hour?”
—— The question you should ask is what value can I give you in the 20 mins versus how much my time costs. Charging someone by the hour limits the value but what I can offer you at the same time can potentially be the most valuable life changing advice in the world. If it was that valuable, how much should I charge you now?”
“See this is what I am talking about!”
—— Show me your phone screen. What apps do you have on here? [shows me] Ok, if you really really want my advice, I have to ask you this again. Are your dreams worth skipping a Friday night? If you could give up just your Friday nights to upgrade your whip like you want, would you give them up if it meant accomplishing one thing you want?
—— That’s why you don’t see me out on the weekends since I got back to Jax. That whip you want isn’t motivating you enough.
“Ok so what motivates you then Jus?”
“That’s it? It’s that simple?”
—— There’s nothing simple about a legacy to anyone who doesn’t understand what they must sacrifice in life to achieve it. Because legacy is at it’s highest when you’re dead.
————— silence —————
“F@#$ man… that’s heavy”
—— Look, man, here’s my advice. Know what you want most to the absolute minute detail and now why. If it doesn’t motivate you enough to give up your Friday nights then it’s not big enough. When you’re ready for the next level, you’ll know and you’ll stop posting memes all day like it’s going to advance your life.
How many people or friends do you know like this? They will have a million ideas but never act on them. They dream about a better life but are too busy escaping the one they are living.
Our time in life is precious. More precious than the most recent update to FaceTube or Insta-envy. Too many times we let outside circumstances dictate our lives and rob us of our time.
We aren’t all the same and not all of us have the same commitment, dreams, aspirations, desires, grit or ambition and that’s ok.
Here are my personal “Essential 6” that keep me moving forward.
- You have to commit to your ideas. Make a hard line in the sand and commit to a date.
- Personal time
- Meditate and get out of your head. Time spent surfing social media is not “time for yourself”. Stop kidding yourself.
- Do 1 thing you enjoy by yourself because you love doing it.
- Audit your circle of influencers and friends. There is a big difference between friends and a supporting circle that will push you. Upgrade the people in your life and find a mentor.
- Learn and learn some more but don’t get stuck in the intellectual trap. Some people are the proverbial student and will keep reading and learning with no commitment to progress. Get audible, Udemy or something to help you get further.
- Get serious about how you spend your time. Schedule out your day and your week. Set 3 goals for the week and 3 goals for the day. Start with 1 if 3 is too much. Find out how you spend your time and how you waste your time.
- Take ownership of your successes and your failures. Learn from everything.
Today I got a text message from my friend. All it said was “I stayed home Friday and just thought man…Thanks. I am going to show you I got this.”
“Alex, prove it to yourself. It’s your legacy.”
By: Justin Bordeaux